Wednesday, April 27, 2011

A letter to Twurdie

Dear Twurdie ,

It is today at 10 a.m , you finally left me . It was painful for me to see you in pain and everything happened so quick . It never occured to me that you and I will part so soon . I thought that you would live a long and healthy life .Two days ago , you were just fine , waiting for me at the exact spot you would be when I wake up everyday . When I sit down on the carpet , you would sit on my lap and start massaging my thighs . When I am watching tv , you would sit beside me , curl up and sleep in a very cute way that never fail to make me go " aww ".

I can't bear the thoughts of not being able to see you again . That no one will greet me anymore when I wake up every morning . That no one will come to me playfully asking for my attention . That I wouldn't see you walking around the house , hiding in spots waiting for me to look for you . That I wouldn't see you making little noises when it's feeding time .

18th February 2011 . That's the day I adopted you . You were about 5 months old back then and Shaun and I immediately know that you are the one when we set our eyes on you . You were being a bit shy when we brought you home . Soon , the whole house grew to love you and I'm sure that you love us as much too .

You were extremely playful , active and curious .Always running around the house , climbing the grills , hiding underneath the dining table , jumping on the divider and sitting on Shaun's driving wheel . You even like to scratch our white sofa because you have nothing to scratch on . Soon , Shaun bought you a scratching cone ! Being a smart girl as always , you stop scratching our sofa and scratches your own cone instead . You never dirty the house , always clean and proper . And always eating ! You would keep going back to your feeding place and eat every 30 minutes or so . When we buy groceries , you will dig in the grocery bag looking for food . When Shaun come back from his flights , you will stand in front of the door greeting him and waiting for him to sayang you . You are the cat that I always wanted .

There was once that I'm extremely tired and was lying on the floor . It was as if you knew that I'm tired on something , you start massaging my back . You were so dear to me Twurdie . You were a great companion , a loving pet and a great friend . You always make me happy when I look at you . Whenever I'm down , when I pat or cuddle you , I feel relieved somehow .

But sickness took you away .

It's barely two months since I first adopted you . It was brief , but it seems that we were together for a long time . You were there for me always . Always by my side . Now that you are no longer here , the spot where you always were , feels so empty . It's just so unfortunate that we don't get to spend more time together . I truly love you very very much .

Shaun took you to the vet and it was bad news . Upon checking you , she said that you have jaundice . So they began the treatment but she told us that the chance for you to recover is very low because the damage to your body is too great . Your organs aren't functioning well . She also told us that it's a sudden thing due to some kind of virus that have been in your body for a long time , just that it wasn't active . Still even though the chance is very slim , I still hope that you can recover and respond to the medication given .

Yesterday , I have been crying whole day praying hard that you would be given strength to recover . That you will be healthy and strong and will come back to me soon . I believe that you are a very strong girl and I keep telling you to be strong for me ." Twurdie please work harder because I love you okay ? "

Today you were in so much pain . Your body twitches when I touch you . You don't even respond to me calling your name anymore . The vet told me that the virus have spread to your brain and that you can't even stand or walk straight anymore . Your nose was bleeding and your eyes can barely see no more . I can't stop telling you that I love you .

I sometimes wonder , why do something that I love so much have to leave me so early ? I know that life and death is unevitable . But I didn't know that it would happen so soon . I'm sorry that I have to cry so much in front of you because I'm sure that you wouldn't want to see me feeling so much sorrow . I know that deep inside you love me very much too .

It is as if you knew that you weren't going to live long . Few days before this , you keep coming to me and massaging my legs . Was it that you are trying to spend more time with me ? You were always sitting beside me . You always have been .

The moment you had your last breath , I was there holding you . I said my goodbye and keep repeating that I love you , did you hear it ? I love you so much Twurdie . I really do. I was prepared to take care of you till your time comes but why don't you have the luck to be pampered by me longer ?

When I got home and opened the front door , I keep hoping that you will be sitting on the very spot you will be . I wished hard that you will be there but I knew that you won't . Shaun told me that you have gone to a beautiful place , where you can eat all the cat food you want , scratch all the cones you want and climb all the grills you like . He also told me that you would want me to remember you as the beautiful , white and happy Twurdie .

I wouldn't want to shed anymore tears after this , Twurdie . I promise you that I won't . Every spot in this house reminds me of you . It was painful to be here thinking all the good memories I had with you . I just cleaned your sandbox , your feeding bowl , your pillow and your towel . I will keep all of your favourite things together .

So Twurdie , if you could ever read , I just wanted to tell you are such a good girl and have given me so much joy and happiness in this brief time that we shared together . You were a great companion to me . With you around I don't feel lonely at all . You have a very special spot in my heart , so dear that it was difficult to see you go . Even though you cannot talk , but I can feel it deep in my heart that you do love me very much too . I know that you are in good hands now , in a very beautiful place beside Him . Twurdie please stay happy , healthy and playful as you always have been when your are with us okay ? * hugs & kisses *

I love you Twurdie !
And you will always be remembered by us baby girl .


Rest in peace ,

Twurdie ( October 2010 - 27th April 2011 )